Krafty Kitten

It’s taken me a while to force myself to sit down and write. We arrived back from Ohio on Sunday evening and I am still trying to recover.  I’ve been working on this entry for a few days but am having trouble getting through it without crying

When we arrived on Friday, Big Guy, Little Guy and I went straight to the funeral home to meet our family there.  I am immensely glad that we left earlier than anticipated that day because it was good to be there from the beginning.  We were there before anyone else but only had to wait a few minutes before everyone else arrived.  The wake at the funeral home was slated to begin at 1 for the family..  And it was difficult.  But she received so many flowers and so many people came to see her and pay their respects.  After the prayer service, which began at 8 pm, we all went our seperate ways to crash.  I passed out but woke up before the alarm the next day.

I knew Saturday was going to be difficult.  The family needed to arrive back at the funeral home for the procession to the church.  And when we got to the church, the casket went in first.  As we followed behind, you couldn’t help but notice how full the church was.  It was truly a testament to what kind of person she was.  There was much crying from so many.  The worst part was near the end, as the priest waved incense and holy water over the casket.

There was a moment of humor at Communion.  As I was raised Irish Catholic, I know all the rites and rituals of the faith. I went up to communion out of respect for my aunt and to ease my mom’s suffering.  As I walked past her I glanced at my mom and she seemed to cry harder than she already was.  I found out later that she wasn’t crying, she was laughing.  I apparently had a “look” on my face as I walked by that amused my mom.

At the graveside, they had  a small percentage of flowers brought from the funeral home to the site.  The priest blessed the casket and then the service was over.  The Sheridan clan went and bade farewell to my grandfather as we left as well.  And, after lunch, we returned to my Uncle’s house for a real wake.  The food was homemade, most of it prepared (deliciously) by my cousin Laura.  And everyone had brought wine and beer (in memory of my aunt of course).

We drank, ate, and talked.  There was a lot of laughing and reminiscing, a lot of tears, and a lot of drinking.  There were only a few injuries, one of which included a scraped up toe on my part, ironically on the same foot as Big Guy’s broken toes, which my cousin thought I should put rubbing alcohol on to clean it out.  (Thanks Nick!)  I semi-graciously declined and opted for water and a band-aid instead.

The next day the flowers arrived from the funeral home and took up the entire floor of their living room.  We all helped unload the van from the funeral home and he van had to make two trips to get all the flowers.  My Uncle was kind enough to let us all take some of the flowers home.  I received a vase of stargazer lilies, daisies, and carnations.  It’s now placed on my kitchen table and is one of the first things I see, and smell, in the morning.

We are still in mourning, and will be for a while.  Everyonr talks about the fact that she would be angry with us for the weeping and unhappiness we feel.  My thought, she’s just going to have to deal with it.  Our world lost some of its vibrancy with her death and we all lost a part of ourselves.  I miss her, and considering I still miss my grandfather who has been gone for 11 years, I don’t see the sadness ending in the near future.  This is something we will have to get past and survive, rather than get over.  We’ll do it, it won’t be easy, but we’ll do it.

Colleen Sheridan Torres 1962 - 2009

Obituary

It’s been said that whatever the Irish do, they do with their whole heart and soul.  When they play, they play hard.  When they work, they work hard.  If there’s a party, the Irish are usually at the center of it and when they are in love, they love with every fiber of their being.  Because of that, when the time comes to grieve, it is also done whole-heartedly.  And my family truly embraces their Irish heritage.

Yesterday was a gorgeous day.  It started out rainy and dismal, overcast with leaden clouds.  But at about 10 am, the clouds parted and faded away and blue skies peeked out. Little Guy and I settled in for our daily activities when my phone rang.  It was my mother.

About 2 years ago, my aunt, Colleen, had been diagnosed with cancer.  She fought bravely and unceasingly.  Even 2 weeks ago, she talked about fighting and praying for a miracle.  But, when dealing with cancer, 2 weeks can bring even the strongest to their knees.  She lost her sight, she lost her ability to speak, she became trapped in a body that could no longer fight the illness that was ravaging it.  The hospice workers had made sure she was not in any more pain, but her body was failing.

My mom went back at the beginning of the week and told me that she was staying there as long as possible.  She’d been updating me daily since she left, so her calling was no surprise.  However, she told me that my aunt had passed away 20 minutes ago.

Little Guy, my sensitive boy, saw me crying and came running to me.  “What’s wrong mommy?  What’s wrong?  CALM DOWN!” He then brought me a sheet and tried to shove my head under it every time I cried.

The loss of my aunt is a hard and bitter pill to swallow.  My heart breaks. I still can’t believe she’s gone.  Many of my earliest memories involve her, ever-present with a ciggarette and a glass of wine.  How can this be?  How can such a vibrant, alive person be gone?

The commonly held stages of grief involve anger and denial, depression and finally acceptance.  I am definitely cycling through the early stages.  I can’t believe she’s gone, I’m angry that she’s been taken from us and I still cry.  We’re going out of town again to spend time with our family.  This time for a funeral.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
– Mary Frye

Colleen Sheridan Torres - 1962 - 2009
Is gairid ár gcairt ar an saol seo.

This weekend we’re heading out of town, heading to a graduation party for my cousin.  Last night, however, we had even more fun than a grad party.  We bathed our three cats to get rid of fleas.

I hate fleas.   When I first got baby girl Caitlin, she was COVERED in fleas.  It took several treatments before we finally got rid of them.  For some reason, white cats just draw fleas to them.  The flea baths went about as well as could be expected.  Caitlin yowled like she was being murdered and was terrified.  Jedi “mowed” in his Marvin the Robot voice and was also terrified.  Tiger….  Tiger was seething angry.  He looked at me as the bath began with this evil glare in his eye that dared me to bring my face close to him because he would gladly remove several layers of skin and muscle, and bone if he could manage it…

We ended up wrapping him in a towel and dipping him to make sure he was totally wet before we scrubbed him.  Pouring the water over him just seemed like it was asking for trouble.

After we scrubbed them all and released them to go lick their metaphorical wounds, we waited till they dried off more and then dosed them with a monthly application of flea medicine.  Hopefully, this will relieve them of their flea issues.  When we get home, we’re going to vacuum and spray the carpet as well.

Because of where we live, we may never be fully rid of fleas.  The park is built on seriously sandy soil.  But, we will do our best to mitigate the damage the fleas cause to our pets.

Class has started and is jam packed.  30 students in one writing class is a lot and is going to require some fancy dancing to make sure I get them all taught properly.  NOT looking forward to grading.  But I do enjoy the teaching.

Speaking of teaching, Little Guy and I are working hard on reading.  My sister-in-law loaned us her copy of the LeapFrog DVD “Letter Factory” which Little Guy LOVES.  It teaches phonics, the sounds each letter makes and Little Guy has taken to pointing out letters when he sees them now and making their sound.  Today, we even began practicing writing.

As I wrote out the alphabet for him, Little Guy named each letter and made its sound.  I was so proud of him!  And then he wanted me to help him write ‘A’.  So we wrote the letter A over and over and over again. He held the pen and I guided his hand.  At the end I just had my hand over his while he wrote the letter and he did really well.  But, when I took my hand off of his, then it turned into a big circle.

I think a big reason that he is so interested in reading is due to the fact that we have bookshelves and books in nearly every room.  The front bedroom and his room have bookshelves, the family room has bookshelves, and my bedroom has a bookshelf.  There’s books all over the place and so he sees books all the time.  Chris and I are big readers and writers, so he gets to see that in progress as well.

I am so glad that he does see that because it shows through his interest in reading and writing.

It’s been a busy couple days.  I started this month’s class and am swamped with 30 students.  It will be a busy, busy month for me but, on the bright side, I will have a chance to hone those flexibility skills.

Our holiday went wonderfully.  We went and visited the in-laws and set off a massive amount of fountains, sparklers, and some mortars.  There were tons of fireworks going off all over the place. The smoke hung around for a while too and began to settle in all the nooks and crannies.  What we didn’t expect was what happened later.

When the night cooled off, there was majorly thick fog.  That, combined with the smoke from the fireworks, meant you could not see a thing.  At one point Big Guy and I drove home with the flashers on going about 5 MPH because you couldn’t even see the road outside the car.

But we made it home safely and spent the rest of the night relaxing.

It’s been a busy time around here.  On Wednesday, I made a flying trip to Ohio to visit family and got back home in time for the holiday weekend. Fourth of July means many things here, including cookouts and fireworks.  Last Night, Big Guy, Little Guy and I loaded up the van and went to go see fireworks in the nearby small town of Baroda with my mom.

The interesting thing is since we have more room in the van, Big Guy decided to make a “camping area” in the back of the van.  This involved laying a futon mattress down where the back two seats fold down and made a great little resting area.

We sat and read and played in the back of the van for a few hours while we waited for it to get dark.  We even brought a cooler with some food in it and  had a nice little meal and when mom arrived, she brought some delicious, delicious chicken and we devoured that in a heart beat.

We brought glow sticks for Little Guy to play with and he insisted we all get one.  Mom had a pink one, I had an orange one, Big Guy had a yellow one and Little Guy had a blue one.  Little Guy would go from one of us to the other and collect our glow sticks and then come up to us and ask us: “What Color?”  God help you if you picked the wrong color because you were only going to get what you originally had.  We would switch a few times and then Little Guy would go around, collect all the sticks, and redistribute them properly.

He’s a smart kid!

Tonight we go to visit Big Guy’s family and we will have a cook out and set off fireworks.  It will be a happy, pleasant evening.  I hope you enjoy yours as well.