Krafty Kitten

It’s taken me a while to force myself to sit down and write. We arrived back from Ohio on Sunday evening and I am still trying to recover.  I’ve been working on this entry for a few days but am having trouble getting through it without crying

When we arrived on Friday, Big Guy, Little Guy and I went straight to the funeral home to meet our family there.  I am immensely glad that we left earlier than anticipated that day because it was good to be there from the beginning.  We were there before anyone else but only had to wait a few minutes before everyone else arrived.  The wake at the funeral home was slated to begin at 1 for the family..  And it was difficult.  But she received so many flowers and so many people came to see her and pay their respects.  After the prayer service, which began at 8 pm, we all went our seperate ways to crash.  I passed out but woke up before the alarm the next day.

I knew Saturday was going to be difficult.  The family needed to arrive back at the funeral home for the procession to the church.  And when we got to the church, the casket went in first.  As we followed behind, you couldn’t help but notice how full the church was.  It was truly a testament to what kind of person she was.  There was much crying from so many.  The worst part was near the end, as the priest waved incense and holy water over the casket.

There was a moment of humor at Communion.  As I was raised Irish Catholic, I know all the rites and rituals of the faith. I went up to communion out of respect for my aunt and to ease my mom’s suffering.  As I walked past her I glanced at my mom and she seemed to cry harder than she already was.  I found out later that she wasn’t crying, she was laughing.  I apparently had a “look” on my face as I walked by that amused my mom.

At the graveside, they had  a small percentage of flowers brought from the funeral home to the site.  The priest blessed the casket and then the service was over.  The Sheridan clan went and bade farewell to my grandfather as we left as well.  And, after lunch, we returned to my Uncle’s house for a real wake.  The food was homemade, most of it prepared (deliciously) by my cousin Laura.  And everyone had brought wine and beer (in memory of my aunt of course).

We drank, ate, and talked.  There was a lot of laughing and reminiscing, a lot of tears, and a lot of drinking.  There were only a few injuries, one of which included a scraped up toe on my part, ironically on the same foot as Big Guy’s broken toes, which my cousin thought I should put rubbing alcohol on to clean it out.  (Thanks Nick!)  I semi-graciously declined and opted for water and a band-aid instead.

The next day the flowers arrived from the funeral home and took up the entire floor of their living room.  We all helped unload the van from the funeral home and he van had to make two trips to get all the flowers.  My Uncle was kind enough to let us all take some of the flowers home.  I received a vase of stargazer lilies, daisies, and carnations.  It’s now placed on my kitchen table and is one of the first things I see, and smell, in the morning.

We are still in mourning, and will be for a while.  Everyonr talks about the fact that she would be angry with us for the weeping and unhappiness we feel.  My thought, she’s just going to have to deal with it.  Our world lost some of its vibrancy with her death and we all lost a part of ourselves.  I miss her, and considering I still miss my grandfather who has been gone for 11 years, I don’t see the sadness ending in the near future.  This is something we will have to get past and survive, rather than get over.  We’ll do it, it won’t be easy, but we’ll do it.

Colleen Sheridan Torres 1962 - 2009

Obituary

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