Krafty Kitten

So, preparing for the holiday season is well underway.  I have Big Guy all shopped for and we’re working on Little Guy. I have a major weakness when it comes to Christmas shopping though.  I like to keep going.  Big Guy gets upset with me every year and tries to limit how much I can buy for him.  This year, when I made my first purchase, he immediately got irritated and told me I spent too much, even though it was under $25.  I think it’s because he’s somewhat flustered, having a wife who tries to dote on him on the holidays.

I have to figure out what we’re getting everyone else for the holidays and work from there.   It’s a different type of holiday than last year.  It will be our first Christmas without the kids.  Luckily, we have Little Guy to focus on and we can work to make it good for him.

Right now, I am also trying to plan my Christmas Eve dinner and breakfast.  For breakfast on Christmas day, I am strongly considering a meal of “Night Before French toast” (recipe to follow), sausage, bacon, coffee, and biscuits.  But dinner the night before is usually a good meal.  My mom comes over and we have our Christmas Eve family gift exchange.  This year, it looks like I am making a turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green beans, sweet potatoes… I’ll have a few finger food snacks and we’ll have a wonderful night.  I am excited and looking forward to it.

The big meal the night before enables me to play around the next day and not have to worry about meals.  And Christmas Day is one of my favorite things to do.

Night Before French Toast

1 loaf Texas Toast
lots of brown sugar
about 1 stick butter
4 eggs
2 cups milk
1/2 tsp cinnamon
dash nutmeg

Directions:

Melt butter and brown sugar together stirring frequently.

Spray a 9×13 pan (important!) with cooking spray. Pour mixture on the bottom so it’s about 1/8 inch thick. Lay the bread slices on top of it.

Mix together eggs, milk, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Pour egg mix over the bread. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.

In the morning, preheat the oven to 350 and uncover the baking dish. Bake for 30 min. You can serve with toppings of your choice.

I’m still alive and kicking.  And around here, we’re preparing for the holiday season.  The past couple months have been exceedingly busy and involved classes, Halloween, and a dead computer.  Now, though, things seem to be settling down and I am trying to get a hold of myself in an attempt to prepare for the upcoming holiday season.

For Thanksgiving, we’re visiting family and eating heartily.  I made “Russian Tea Cakes” to take to both Big Guy’s parents and my mom’s meals.  These things are delectable, delicious, and completely fattening.  The recipe I follow is the same one my mom uses from Betty Crocker , with our own little differences of course.  We can never make a recipe without improving it somehow.

And on Friday, we did participate in the rampant consumerism that is Black Friday, but we also got something good out of it.  We ended up NOT buying at any of the major stores, for by the time we arrived, all the deals were gone.  What they had left was not enough to tempt us to brave those lines.  So, we went to breakfast and then went to Big Lots where there weren’t as many people and the deals were much better.  While there, we did find some good gifts for Little Guy to open Christmas Morning.

For the rest of the evening, I imagine we’ll play games, watch movies, and eat pizza.  And for that, I am truly thankful.

Russian Tea Cakes
1    cup butter or margarine, softened
1/2    cup powdered sugar
1    teaspoon vanilla
2 1/4    cups flour
3/4    cup finely chopped nuts (I used pecans)
1/4    teaspoon salt
Powdered sugar

1.    Heat oven to 350ºF.
2.    Mix butter, 1/2 cup powdered sugar and the vanilla in large bowl. Stir in flour, nuts and salt until dough holds together. (If it still seems dry, cover and place in a warm spot for a few minutes.  The butter will start to bind the dough together a bit more.)
3.    Shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place about 1 inch apart on ungreased cookie sheet.
4.    Bake 10 minutes or until set but not brown. Remove from cookie sheet. Cool slightly on wire rack.
5.    Roll warm cookies in powdered sugar; cool on wire rack. Roll in powdered sugar again.

Well, Big Guy’s job situation was finally clarified and his hours were cut.  Down to practically half.  He’s now on contractor status but can only work a total of 24 hours per week, no benefits.  So, we’re implementing some serious budgeting measures.

We’ve gone back to ordering from Angel Food Ministries and I am going to prepare weekly menus.  Angel Food Ministries is an excellent source for good cheap food.  $30 and you get an order of food that is billed as “enough to feed a family of four for a week”.  This month’s order comes with steaks, chicken, pork chops, ground beef, veggies and fruit, eggs and a dessert.  It’s pretty well balanced and you can come up with ways to stretch it.  We order one box at a time and can generally make it last the whole month.

I’ve also got a running tally of our funds on an excel spreadsheet to keep track of our budget.  We’re going to run into some issues because what we’re bringing in is less than what we need per month.   If we’re careful with the payout for his vacation time, we may be able to limp along until he either gets another job or they decide they need him full time.

He is looking for another job, both full and part time, and I’m working on teaching.  If we can keep it up, things should be OK.

I know I’ve been gone for a while but life and work have taken up most of my attention.  Our garden, despite late breaking efforts, has not fared so well this summer.  Big Guy and I both think that our difficulties this summer had something to do with it.  I am able to harvest some very delicious tomatoes which are FINALLY turning red.  The coolness of the weather this year affected their color and I still have more green tomatoes than red ones.

We’re coming to the end of the August class.  Starting next week, I have another class of students and the cycle starts all over again. I’ve decided to go in a different direction in some cases, especially since I have access to a nice computer and a projector.

However, in the meantime, I need to finish up my OMGSUPERSECRET project because I lost a week I thought I had to work on it.  And that is what I am doing today.  I am over 2/3rds done, I just need to get that final push done and finish it this week.  Once that’s done, I can breathe a little easier and actually have some free time.  Go me!

Right now, Little Guy and I are watching MSNBC’s coverage of the death of Senator Kennedy.  It truly is a sad day.  I can only hope the health care bill doesn’t fail because of this.  That would truly be horrible.  Something that man worked so hard for, he got so close to seeing the frution of his life’s work…  And then he dies.  It’s truly a tragic story, and perhaps another chapter of the Kennedy Curse.  I’ll post more thoughts on this later, particularly my reactions to the disgusting comments the Rabid Right have posted across the internet.

On the humerous side of this story.  Senator Kennedy was known as the “Lion of the Senate.”  Every time that moniker is placed on the screen, Little Guy exclaims: “Oh!  A Lion!”  He recognizes the word.  My sweet boy, so smart and turning in to such a good reader!

It’s been a busy week. I have to admit, I am glad it’s almost over.  For me, it really is.  I don’t have class tomorrow because they are moving to the new building and that means no teaching at all until Monday.  What a break!

Now, aside from grading, I really have time to focus on some other things…  Like writing in my blog and working on my OMGSOSUPERSOSECRETPROJECT and working on my novel. It’s been a rough summer, and it is probably only just beginning to hit us exactly how rough a summer it was.  I am going through, getting rid of clothes and gathering up toys, now that the house is mostly empty.  We’re still trying to adjust to life without the kids and it’s beginning to hit me exactly how much I put into the kids.

When Big Guy and I got together, I was determined to be the best step-mom ever.  I read books, made sure I didn’t overstep my bounds, and tried to follow the best, most rational advice available.  I offered support and guidance to my husband when he tired of the games his ex was playing and really devoted a lot of time and effort into both the battle and making sure the kids had the best chance at sanity that I could provide.

So, for six years, I threw myself whole-heartedly into being a step-parent, to the exclusion of many things that I really should have been doing for myself.  And this May, when that effort was revealed to be useless, I really felt betrayed and destroyed by it.  But, through June and July, other things occupied my thoughts and time.  And now, I’m left with myself, Big Guy and Little Guy.  And it’s leaving me feeling a bit jittery.

So, where do I go from here?  Well, I work on something else.  I focus on the things that are important, like Big Guy and Little Guy.  I work on my projects.  And I sit back and breathe, take stock of where I am and figure out what I am feeling (aside from the surface emotions).  This is a new chapter in my life, let’s see what it says…

“You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it” - U2
Last month, I decided, was a wash.  Between Big Guy’s toes and my aunt passing away and the class I was teaching, the month got away from me and nothing got done.  It was all I could do to keep up with Little Guy and the class I was teaching.  Hence, my absence from my blog.

However, I am trying to get back in to the swing of things.  I have a class this month, teaching Comp II.  I am working on a super secret project for September.  And still planning on the aHarvest Market with my mom.  Sadly, though, my Garden is not thriving.  It’s growing, slowly… But I am really going to need to either add to or replace some of the dirt I have.

When we got back from Ohio in Mid July, we notice that we had a serious fly problem.  They had gotten in the house and were extremely annoying.  So, we made sure all screens were closed and began to come up with ways to get rid of the flies.

Unlike my mom, we have no chickens to get rid of flies, so we needed to come up with something less alive.  I finally settled on a homemade fly trap.  I took an empty beer bottle, water, sugar, a part of a banana peel, and dish soap and combine them.  The idea is that the water, sugar, and banana peel interest the flies and they will fly into the beer bottle to get some food to eat where it becomes a “Fly Motel” of sorts.  The narrow neck of the beer bottle ensures that it’s a one way trip and the dish soap prevents the flies from being able to land on the water and they drown instead.

Getting back into the swing of things, being creative, it’s still difficult…  But, as with most things, life rolls on whether or not you want it to, whether or not you feel ready.  Do you take part or do you sit at the side?

“And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass
It’s just a moment
This time will pass” - U2, Stuck in a Moment

It’s taken me a while to force myself to sit down and write. We arrived back from Ohio on Sunday evening and I am still trying to recover.  I’ve been working on this entry for a few days but am having trouble getting through it without crying

When we arrived on Friday, Big Guy, Little Guy and I went straight to the funeral home to meet our family there.  I am immensely glad that we left earlier than anticipated that day because it was good to be there from the beginning.  We were there before anyone else but only had to wait a few minutes before everyone else arrived.  The wake at the funeral home was slated to begin at 1 for the family..  And it was difficult.  But she received so many flowers and so many people came to see her and pay their respects.  After the prayer service, which began at 8 pm, we all went our seperate ways to crash.  I passed out but woke up before the alarm the next day.

I knew Saturday was going to be difficult.  The family needed to arrive back at the funeral home for the procession to the church.  And when we got to the church, the casket went in first.  As we followed behind, you couldn’t help but notice how full the church was.  It was truly a testament to what kind of person she was.  There was much crying from so many.  The worst part was near the end, as the priest waved incense and holy water over the casket.

There was a moment of humor at Communion.  As I was raised Irish Catholic, I know all the rites and rituals of the faith. I went up to communion out of respect for my aunt and to ease my mom’s suffering.  As I walked past her I glanced at my mom and she seemed to cry harder than she already was.  I found out later that she wasn’t crying, she was laughing.  I apparently had a “look” on my face as I walked by that amused my mom.

At the graveside, they had  a small percentage of flowers brought from the funeral home to the site.  The priest blessed the casket and then the service was over.  The Sheridan clan went and bade farewell to my grandfather as we left as well.  And, after lunch, we returned to my Uncle’s house for a real wake.  The food was homemade, most of it prepared (deliciously) by my cousin Laura.  And everyone had brought wine and beer (in memory of my aunt of course).

We drank, ate, and talked.  There was a lot of laughing and reminiscing, a lot of tears, and a lot of drinking.  There were only a few injuries, one of which included a scraped up toe on my part, ironically on the same foot as Big Guy’s broken toes, which my cousin thought I should put rubbing alcohol on to clean it out.  (Thanks Nick!)  I semi-graciously declined and opted for water and a band-aid instead.

The next day the flowers arrived from the funeral home and took up the entire floor of their living room.  We all helped unload the van from the funeral home and he van had to make two trips to get all the flowers.  My Uncle was kind enough to let us all take some of the flowers home.  I received a vase of stargazer lilies, daisies, and carnations.  It’s now placed on my kitchen table and is one of the first things I see, and smell, in the morning.

We are still in mourning, and will be for a while.  Everyonr talks about the fact that she would be angry with us for the weeping and unhappiness we feel.  My thought, she’s just going to have to deal with it.  Our world lost some of its vibrancy with her death and we all lost a part of ourselves.  I miss her, and considering I still miss my grandfather who has been gone for 11 years, I don’t see the sadness ending in the near future.  This is something we will have to get past and survive, rather than get over.  We’ll do it, it won’t be easy, but we’ll do it.

Colleen Sheridan Torres 1962 - 2009

Obituary

It’s been said that whatever the Irish do, they do with their whole heart and soul.  When they play, they play hard.  When they work, they work hard.  If there’s a party, the Irish are usually at the center of it and when they are in love, they love with every fiber of their being.  Because of that, when the time comes to grieve, it is also done whole-heartedly.  And my family truly embraces their Irish heritage.

Yesterday was a gorgeous day.  It started out rainy and dismal, overcast with leaden clouds.  But at about 10 am, the clouds parted and faded away and blue skies peeked out. Little Guy and I settled in for our daily activities when my phone rang.  It was my mother.

About 2 years ago, my aunt, Colleen, had been diagnosed with cancer.  She fought bravely and unceasingly.  Even 2 weeks ago, she talked about fighting and praying for a miracle.  But, when dealing with cancer, 2 weeks can bring even the strongest to their knees.  She lost her sight, she lost her ability to speak, she became trapped in a body that could no longer fight the illness that was ravaging it.  The hospice workers had made sure she was not in any more pain, but her body was failing.

My mom went back at the beginning of the week and told me that she was staying there as long as possible.  She’d been updating me daily since she left, so her calling was no surprise.  However, she told me that my aunt had passed away 20 minutes ago.

Little Guy, my sensitive boy, saw me crying and came running to me.  “What’s wrong mommy?  What’s wrong?  CALM DOWN!” He then brought me a sheet and tried to shove my head under it every time I cried.

The loss of my aunt is a hard and bitter pill to swallow.  My heart breaks. I still can’t believe she’s gone.  Many of my earliest memories involve her, ever-present with a ciggarette and a glass of wine.  How can this be?  How can such a vibrant, alive person be gone?

The commonly held stages of grief involve anger and denial, depression and finally acceptance.  I am definitely cycling through the early stages.  I can’t believe she’s gone, I’m angry that she’s been taken from us and I still cry.  We’re going out of town again to spend time with our family.  This time for a funeral.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
– Mary Frye

Colleen Sheridan Torres - 1962 - 2009
Is gairid ár gcairt ar an saol seo.

It’s been a busy couple days.  I started this month’s class and am swamped with 30 students.  It will be a busy, busy month for me but, on the bright side, I will have a chance to hone those flexibility skills.

Our holiday went wonderfully.  We went and visited the in-laws and set off a massive amount of fountains, sparklers, and some mortars.  There were tons of fireworks going off all over the place. The smoke hung around for a while too and began to settle in all the nooks and crannies.  What we didn’t expect was what happened later.

When the night cooled off, there was majorly thick fog.  That, combined with the smoke from the fireworks, meant you could not see a thing.  At one point Big Guy and I drove home with the flashers on going about 5 MPH because you couldn’t even see the road outside the car.

But we made it home safely and spent the rest of the night relaxing.

It’s been a busy time around here.  On Wednesday, I made a flying trip to Ohio to visit family and got back home in time for the holiday weekend. Fourth of July means many things here, including cookouts and fireworks.  Last Night, Big Guy, Little Guy and I loaded up the van and went to go see fireworks in the nearby small town of Baroda with my mom.

The interesting thing is since we have more room in the van, Big Guy decided to make a “camping area” in the back of the van.  This involved laying a futon mattress down where the back two seats fold down and made a great little resting area.

We sat and read and played in the back of the van for a few hours while we waited for it to get dark.  We even brought a cooler with some food in it and  had a nice little meal and when mom arrived, she brought some delicious, delicious chicken and we devoured that in a heart beat.

We brought glow sticks for Little Guy to play with and he insisted we all get one.  Mom had a pink one, I had an orange one, Big Guy had a yellow one and Little Guy had a blue one.  Little Guy would go from one of us to the other and collect our glow sticks and then come up to us and ask us: “What Color?”  God help you if you picked the wrong color because you were only going to get what you originally had.  We would switch a few times and then Little Guy would go around, collect all the sticks, and redistribute them properly.

He’s a smart kid!

Tonight we go to visit Big Guy’s family and we will have a cook out and set off fireworks.  It will be a happy, pleasant evening.  I hope you enjoy yours as well.